Life is Messy. By Design, it seems…
Inspired by the life and death of my dearest cousin Bruce
On August 17th, 2020 after enjoying his last meal with his wife and parents, my cousin Bruce was called to his heavenly home, in what could only be described as a heart wrenching — soul crushing incident. It shook us to the very core, and amidst the million thoughts and feelings, my loudest cry was…
WHY ?. ?. ?.
24 hours of nothingness. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t pray, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t think. I had to just tell God, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. And you better have something to say.”
And He did.
Finally, brothers, WHATEVER IS TRUE, WHATEVER IS NOBLE, whatever is right, whatever is pure, WHATEVER IS LOVELY, WHATEVER IS ADMIRABLE -IF ANYTHING IS excellent OR praiseworthy — THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS. Philippians 4:8
Bruce was the most gentle, loving, authentic, intelligent, fearless and kind person I was blessed to know. He never hesitated to say what he felt was Right, and he said it in the kindest manner. Something you can usually do Either of, but very seldom Both.
Strangely, for the past few days, I had been thinking a lot about Life, Death and the words “Thy Kingdom Come” from the beautiful prayer “The Our Father”. Now, I asked God, why He let Bruce suffer and die under the weight of that fallen building, just as He allowed Jesus to suffer and die under the weight of that cross.
I felt God saying…
He protects us from knowing everything because there is too much to know. In making each one of us so uniquely marvelous, we end up creating what looks to us like a crazy mess of life. He designed it to be that way. Only He in His infinite wisdom can understand and make sense of it; to orchestrate it in a way that His Good can manifest.
But,.. He gives us a glimpse of what it is like for Him to run this crazy world, by allowing us to see and experience pain and suffering. That’s what it would be like, for us, but not for Him — He’s got this under control. And every now and then, He gets a helper from among us — to help Him accomplish this insurmountable task. He chose Bruce for that purpose.
That’s only one side of the story though.
Along with suffering, He also leaves us with experiences and memories of what is true, noble, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. All of which Bruce was and will continue to be. All of which God’s Kingdom here on earth is — in every person we meet, in every experience we encounter. That is what we ask for, every time we pray the Our Father — “Thy Kingdom Come, on Earth as it is in Heaven”.
Life is messy. By Design. Suffering and Goodness, all working together in perfect harmony, to reach that One Big Final Splendid Goal.
Our purpose here might be; On some days to experience it. On some days to BE it. And on other days, just to be instruments which allow ALL OF IT to happen.
Bruce, Till we meet again…
But for now, you have shown me my new purpose. To experience life in all its messiness. To allow myself to joyfully be a part of the mess. And to be the instrument when I’m called to be.
